Monday, August 23, 2010

A Lost Mind

First off, I would just like to thank Todd over at The Good Mistake for the shout out. Now I'm giving him a shout out, check his stuff out at: http://todd138.blogspot.com/


OK, so again, as with most/all of my stories, I wrote this one pretty quickly. I'm not exactly sure how I feel about it, but I figured I'd post it anyways. Like I say in my blog description, it's a process; some things turn out good and some meh. Hopefully I get better as a I go.


There’s something there, I just can’t see it; something, gnawing at the back of my mind. Day and night, I can’t sleep. I sit awake in my bed, eyes wide open. I stare. I can’t help it. I stare at the wall, hoping that something will change right before my eyes.
As I stare into the nothingness the wall has to offer me I can feel my hands slowly gripping the covers. Gripping turns into clenching, and soon the blood flees my hands leaving them but a pail white in the moonlight. Insomnia, it has overcome me.
The daytime is no different. I often find myself staring into the distance, losing all sense of time and place. People stop to ask me if I’m ok; I rarely answer. Soon they lose interest in me and go about their merry ways.
Why do I stare? I can’t do anything else. There’s something their, eating away at my mind. I grab the back of my head with both hands, but it’s no use, I feel nothing. Whatever it is I can’t reach it. It stays hidden from me, but I know it’s there and I want it to stop.
“LEAVE ME ALONE!” I cry out at night. All I want to do is sleep, but it won’t let me. It keeps eating away at my mind. I fear I’m losing control; the intruder is taking over! I have to do something, and quick! If I don’t act soon I’ll have lost myself forever. GAAHHH! There it is again! GO AWAY! I just want some peace and quiet. No more of this constant agony! I must get it out, but how? The wall! The wall full of nothingness! All this time I’ve been staring, not understanding why, but it’s been calling me! The nothingness, the emptiness of the wall that engulfs me every night, it can save me now!
Stand man, to your feet! This is a matter of life and death! I struggle to get to my feet. That something inside my head is fighting me, but it won’t win, it can’t! As I stand in front of my bed, I muster up enough energy to make a dash for it. With my head aimed straight at the wall I begin running as fast as I can.
CRACK! My head plows into the wall leaving a small hole. I stagger back. The something is still there! Again, I move towards the wall, this time slowly. Once there, I put my hands up in front me, palms flush against the surface. It’s now or never.
BAM! BAM! BAM! I repeatedly hit my head against the wall, all the while screaming. I scream partially out of pain and partially as a war cry; a warning to that something inside my head, that something that won’t go away, until now.
After several minutes of bashing my head against the wall, I again stumble back. This time I feel something trickling down my forehead and into my mouth. The taste of iron hits my taste buds. Blood! This is war after all, I should’ve expected this.
Now, after tasting my own blood I feel weak. I no longer have the power to stand, so I fall to my knees. Slowly, I lay myself face down on the ground.
That something inside my head, I can’t feel it anymore, it’s finally gone! I’ve won! No more sleepless nights and dreary days for me, I’ve done it! Now I can take back my life for there is nothing left to control me! As I bask in my victory I close my eyes, and soon after I join the darkness that awaits me.

Monday, August 16, 2010

A Tricky Question

I wrote this short story pretty quickly. I felt like writing something, so I started typing the first thing that came to my head. It isn't much, but I like it, and it was kind of fun to write.


I didn’t know what to say. The man was staring at me; taking in every inch of my demeanor, and all I could do was stare back. We had been engaged like this for what seemed like a life time, and I wasn’t about to back down, it’s just not in my blood.
As I stared at the man, it dawned on me; I couldn’t even remember what he had said. I rummaged through the memory banks of my mind, looking for something, anything that would even give me a hint as to what just happened. If I didn’t answer soon I’d look like a fool!
“Well?” the man inquired, “What is your answer?”
I could feel drops of sweat forming on the brow of my head. Slowly they began trickling down onto my nose and face. Still no memory of what the question even was. I looked down at my lap for a bit and patted my forehead with a tissue that I had been hanging on to.
I looked back up at the man. He was still there, sitting across from me, still staring. He hadn’t magically disappeared as I took my eyes off of him to wipe my forehead. Whole lot of good it did anyway; I could feel more sweat forming.
I moved my lips to form a word, but nothing would come out. I was nervous; the man had to see this. I began forcing more air over my vocal chords. The words began coming out of my mouth, somewhat hoarse at first.
“What was...” I paused and put my fist to my mouth. AHEM. There, that should do it. “My apologies, but what was the question again?”
“The question was why do you think you’re the man for the job?”
How embarrassing; that was what I couldn’t remember. I had to look like a real gem to this guy. There was no way I was getting the job now. I couldn’t waste any more time thinking of what to say, so I began speaking.
“Well,” I cleared my throat one more time, “as you can see by my extensive resume, I have much of the experience needed for this job, and what I don’t know I am willing to learn. As you’ll find when checking my references I have good people skills, and am a team player. Going back to the “willing to learn part”, I would like to point out that I am a fast learner, which you will also find when checking my references. I think that I would be a good fit for this company, and I also think that this company would be good for me. There is a lot that I could learn and advance in myself from working here. Basically I think that my getting this job would be beneficial to all involved.”
Basically I think that?! I couldn’t believe that I just said “basically” after everything else came out so elegantly. So much for saving face, I was definitely going to be on the bottom of the “call back” pile.
The man looked at me, than glanced down at my resume. “I see, well…” He trailed off. Oh no! He didn’t buy it! He couldn’t have. Everything on his face was saying that he didn’t believe me. Was it my delivery? The fact that I had to ask him what he said again?
“Well, I will take all of that into consideration. We’ve still got some interviews to do yet, but we’ll be in touch. Thank you for coming in John; it has been a pleasure meeting you.”
The man stood up behind his desk. I stood, but more as a reflex to his standing. He put his hand out, and I did the same. His handshakes were tightly gripped and firm. I couldn’t muster any words besides “Thank you for your time.” I then turned and walked out of the room.
What just happened? I performed miserably in the interview, and I’m pretty sure that I just lost a shot at the job. I guess that my lot in life is to keep wandering; to always be on the side of wanting, and never know what it is to have.