Wednesday, February 24, 2010

NIN Contest

This is my entry for the ninhurt.com Write Where You Belong contest. I had to write a story that made sense using as many Nine Inch Nails song titles as I could. The link to the contest is: http://www.ninhurt.com/home/2010/1/25/write-where-you-belong.html

Dear Friend,

I am writing to tell you of things that happened to me; events that spurred the beginning of the end and left me somewhat damaged. I like to call this time in my life the great collapse; the time where I found myself down in it, covered in my sin and left to crawl in the sand like a reptile. You yourself played a part in this when you told another version of the truth. I’ve had some realizations about the big come down that I would like to share with you, but before I get into anything, I feel I should start from the beginning before I gave up on everything and let myself fall into the great below.

Imagine, if you will, a warm place, a place untouched by the heresy that has corrupted so many; a place with all the love in the world. This was my life, or at least it was before you, the good soldier, took it from me. I was on a pilgrimage to find the thing that I so desperately desired; to become one with my vessel, my soul, to exist in a sanctified state of being. I guess this is something I can never have.

You looked at me with desire; you too sought peace for yourself, but could never obtain it. You saw that I was 10 miles high, but you couldn’t let down your echoplex just to ask for my help. You let your pride get in the way, and in doing so have become the ruiner of all I wish to be. The fragile fell victim to the wretched, and all that remains are the frail memories of the only time that I was ever truly happy. I trusted you and you hurt me with a terrible lie. I guess that’s what I get.

Your actions have released something inside of me; a demon seed. Love is not enough, not anymore. Now I seek vengeance and I will have it. You have thrown me into the void of hate and the way out is through. Murder? Kinda, I want to.

You thought you were the big man with a gun, joining the march of the pigs, ruining all that came into your path. Well piggy, you know what you are? You are the one who is about to find discipline. The mark has been made, and now you will awake to find this is the day the world went away.

You will ask yourself where is everybody? You shall suffer as I have suffered; alone, with your head down in the sand. There will be no more lights in the sky for you. 1,000,000; 999,999; one by one they will disappear and leave you alone in physical and mental agony. I hope you can find happiness in slavery. Survivalism shall become your mantra.

As you suffer alone remember this: you brought this upon yourself. My vengeance is God given, and now it’s time to meet your master. The Great Destroyer awaits you my friend, and shall be right beside you in time.

Now I fall even deeper into the downward spiral that you have begun; I do not want this. I’m turning into something that I never wanted to be; the line begins to blur, all I can see are sunspots. Reality is getting smaller and all that remains is my violent heart. Me, I'm not.

Even though I know I do this for the greater good, I feel it all slipping away. In letting you get to me I’ve lost myself. Do you know what you’ve done? No, you don’t. You’ve created a complication for me. I can no longer find my inner peace. Every day is exactly the same. I fear that I am closer to becoming Mr. Self Destruct. I’m dead inside. Underneath it all I am ripe with decay; you suck the life from me. Is my demise just like you imagined?

It doesn’t matter anymore; we’re in this together now. You, me, myself, and I: the four of us are dying. I know now that nothing will ever be right where it belongs again. Through my hate I have bitten the hand that feeds, and now await the collector of souls. I'm looking forward to joining you.

Help me I am in hell.

Sincerely,
A broken man

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